Please pray for my princess

We have longed waited for her arrival. Everyone was excited and when she arrived, we suddenly have a princess. Her father called her "bella". Italian for beautiful. I told my brother that it does not matter if my niece has a skin tag, it's not really important. And she was my princess. I have conjured lots of plans for her. I will give her the best I could that I never had. But a call from my brother while eating breakfast, my princess was vomiting and passing blood in her stools. In a matter of hours, she was admitted in the hospital and operated on for volvulus or twisting of the intestines. Presently, she is at the intensive care unit and have not feed on anything for the past week. There are signs that she is improving. She is off oxygen. She still has a long way to go before they feed her. And hopefully she would be able to tolerate the feedings and continue on with her recovery.

I have dealt with the same situation in my career but usually on the other end. Telling parents about a baby's condition also breaks my heart. No matter how hard I try to be comforting, the news always breaks nerves and all the strength and courage of the bravest person. I cried on the street while I was taking my brother's call telling me of the news. I wanted to be there. I wanted to do whatever I can. But it was not me anymore. This time I am the parent. This time I am the passive observer. This time I am the one hoping.

There is a lesson from this. At one point I asked God for all the debt's I let go for treating all other babies for free. And when I was told that the condition was worse than I expected, I said I was not that important to God after all. Whe my borhter called up after 6 hours and told me that the other doctors were optomistic that my princess will recover, I suddenly realized what I have thought. I was so easy to give up hope on Him. But it is Him who knows what is good and I should not question what He has given me.

Please pray for my princess. Thank you very much.

Survivor Philippines

I resolved to save money last month so instead of going out daily for dinner, I stayed at home and kept myself busy with the boob tube. You can actually get addicted to these shows that really does not make you think but rather play with you emotions. So I became a Survivor fan in the past three weeks. Buti na lang last five episodes na lang.

I started watching when they voted Kiko off. There was an agreement among members of the old tribe to kick out all the remaining members of the other tribe, but there were two dissenters and he was kicked out of the camp. Of course that was like a Shakespearean Julius Ceasar spin off.

As I watch it daily after my salad dinner, I was amazed how the characters morphed and get affected by the different circumstances. I wanted Cris and Kaye out that week because they betrayed Kiko. But as I watched, it was actually Marlon that I hated most. He would scheme and deal and sow hatred among the contestants. But he was like the soul of the show. When he was finally booted out, it was not the same again.

When mama Zita got voted off, I think that was the height of arrogance among all the contestants. I understand their rationale when they say they don't stand a chance to win if they stand with her in the finals facing the jury, but hey did you guys watched what they did last night?!!!!

Grrr. If they really did want to win without thinking of all the utang na loob bullshit and all of them saying that blah blah blah this is a game walang personalan. Hello. Eh di dapat si JC ang na vote off kahapon. If I were there I would vote him off para I'm sure of a fighting chance in the finals. Eh Charisse and Rob may rationalize it in all their interviews, but let's face it they voted Cris out because they owe JC something. So saan ba dyan ang strategy and the rationale na game lang to. So sa final three Putang Ina ninyo!!!

Sunset, the sea and the mountains

Obama wins

I don't know what's it about the Lantaka Hotel. But it seems that all those world changing history making moments have to occur while I'm sipping coffee at the lobby. So it's final Obama wins. Now the world can move on.

Fiesta Pilar 2008

I can't believe it that I have been watching the fiesta third year in a row. This tough it was different. I was keen on taking photographs having bought a new DSLR and trying to learn photoshop techniques. So much for all the world's troubles. It does not really make a difference if I wallow myself in patriotic sorrow. That does not give me money for food. So from now on, I will enjoy the good in life. Happy Fiesta.

38

I know I have a lot of regrets in my life and the choices I made are hard. I cannot say I am living a wonderful life. But I have a lot to thank for.

Happy Birthday to me.

Free Modern Poetry Course at Yale Open

"There is time to murder and create" T.S. Eliot

I have often wanted to take Literature in college but never got the guts to do it. So I ended up becoming an overworked underpaid health worker.

These days however, I am on a high time low census that I absolutely have a lot of time to myself. So I googled what things come for free. There are hundreds of websites that lists hundreds of free online courses. Skimming through them was not easy when I suddenly felt like I opened a huge chest full of treasures that I want to sample as much as I could in one munch. There were courses in business, arts, languages and the sciences.

I clicked furiously one after the other. Mostly the courses are just slides used in the course, like the one from UC and John Hopkins. The best one as I skimmed through them are the courses from Yale. Although limited in number compared to the others, the website not just offers the lectures slides, it offers the transcript of the lecture, the whole syllabi, the class activities and the video of the lecture. Its like a free audit of a class in an Icy League school. Didn't we all wished for that one time or the other?

The course which interested me was that of Prof Langdon Eng 301 Modern Poetry. I am presently half way through. Listening to the lectures every morning while I take a bath. I have heard the lecture on my most loved poet since I was grade 5, Robert Frost and actually learned insights I have never known before. Even Prof Langdon's discussion of "Birches" made my hairs stand on end for the sheer beauty of discernment and knowledge.

Yeats and Pound were poets I have not really appreciated before. But the lectures have made understand their art and now I am a Yeats fan.

Right now I am studying the lectures on T. S. Eliot. His "Pufrock" and "Wastelnad" poems are already breaking my heart. I realized that reading poetry alone though has its benefit, the scholar really sees more and you become more appreciative of the magic of these classic poems with these lectures.

Strongly recommended: www.oyc.yale.edu